So my middle child is having a birthday this weekend, and it’s a biggie. He’s turning thirteen, and I shall officially be the mother to two teenagers, one adult child, and two little ones who have yet to reach double digits. In honor of this notable occasion, I took him by himself to Kings Island today, and let him have a day of me all to himself. They seldom get that since there are so very many of them, although I do give them each their “days” every so often. And this was all he requested of me for his birthday, just a day of riding rides and hanging out at the amusement park, so that is what he got. Thankfully I’ve mostly recovered from my recent pneumonia(s) and felt up to it today; we put it off three times since Monday, and I was beginning to worry I wouldn’t be able to fulfill even this simple request. But today dawned with good breathing and a well-rested mama, so off we went!
We had a great day, and! I am happy to report that the events of last summer wherein I was unable to ride certain roller coasters and the resulting worry that I’d passed a certain point in this disease? Seem to have been just the result of a bad day (or three). I was honestly afraid to try to ride this year, because the end of last year had me so sad over the thought of not being able to enjoy this activity with them any more. I didn’t want to confirm my fears, and therefore I just elected to swim, knit, sit in the shade, and ride the little rides with anyone who was interested in that sort of thing so far this summer. I hadn’t attempted any coasters at all since that one day toward the end of last summer that I thought nearly killed me, and my daughter and I had to leave Kings Island early because I was in such bad shape. She was equally worried, and encouraged me to wait until later in the summer to try it, to give myself a chance to fully get over the pneumonia and give myself the best shot at being able to withstand the rides. But I’m stubborn, and I felt good, and well, anyone who knows me at all knows that if one of my babies (shut up they are too still babies) asks me for something then I’m going to do everything within my power to make sure that I give them that something. And my middler wanted me to ride coasters with him for his thirteenth birthday, and I was bound and determined to make that happen.
I’m really glad it worked out, truly. I did rent a scooter (which may come back to bite me in the ass because I should have probably saved that for gas money to go get the other boys, but we’ll deal with that in a day or two) but considering that it was about 100 degrees in the shade today and I survived every coaster he wanted to go on? Some twice, even! I will chalk that up as a win, and was quite thrilled to text my daughter with the news that last year’s bad day was just that – a bad day. It’s hard to know with this stupid disease, and I *know* it’s going to get worse, and I expect that it’s going to get worse, and I’m prepared for it to get worse, and yet… I’m not. I’d like to just have things as they are for now, and not get worse for a while. I’m okay with not being able to do everything; I can still do the things that mean the most to me, and to them, and that’s enough for now. I am not ready to readjust and reevaluate and rethink what’s important, I just want to be for a while.
Is that too much to ask? Maybe so. I’ll take today for what it is and deal with tomorrow when it gets here. Not much else I can do, and that’s how I try to approach it. Anything else is overwhelming.
Palikari Part Two 