Who’s in charge of the body?

My grandpa did indeed pass away later that beautiful day, holding his daughters’ hands and in peace.  I wasn’t there, but I’m told it was peaceful and as good as these things can be.  The issues didn’t begin until people started trying to mess with the way he left things.  My grandpa was the type of man who would sooner give you a dollar than to let you think you’d swindled him out of it or outsmarted him for it… he wanted things a certain way, and that’s the way he wanted them.  He was no different with his money and his wills and his funeral arrangements and everything surrounding his impending death.  He had some amount of money that he wanted my mom to have, and some amount that he wanted my aunt to have, and some that was to be split amongst the other siblings upon his passing.  I’m not privvy to all the details, but I do know that he gave my mom and aunt (the two who were there to hold his hand in his final moments) their share before he passed.  In fact, he said he was stubborn enough to not die until he was sure that they had what he wanted them to have.  He wanted to be sure no one was going to take their share away, nor swindle him out of his money once he was gone and couldn’t speak for himself any more.

He also made all his funeral arrangements years and years ago.  The man was nothing if not explicit in what was to happen to his earthly body, and it was paid for and settled long before this hospitalization.  Now it would seem that his second wife (who he’s been divorced from for most of my life) is contesting his will and is making other arrangements via her children (who are also his children, but I do not know these people – they haven’t been a part of our lives).  My mom and aunt are (understandably) upset, and my poor grandpa is in limbo until the courts open tomorrow so that a judge can determine what should become of his body.  Does he get the funeral and interment that he wanted, or does he get what some portion of his children want?  He has nine children all told, two from this second marriage, and those are the only two who are contesting things.

I am so upset over this, more than his passing.  His death was expected, we all knew it was only a matter of time.  In fact, it’s comforting to think of him in peace and not hurting any more and not being bound to this earth and a broken body (I know what that feels like, and it’s not good).  But to think that anyone has the right, after I’m gone, to do with my body as they please and not as I clearly stated that I wanted?  Is so upsetting to me.  If my grandpa were *in* a grave, he’d be turning over in it.  I suppose he’s turning over in … whatever storage he’s in at the moment, and I hope he’ll go haunt whoever messed with his wishes.  Hopefully this will be settled tomorrow, and it sucks that it was the weekend and had to wait for court to open up. 😦

 

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It keeps getting weirder…

I am normally so not a conspiracy theorist, but something really, really weird and not right is going on here and I just don’t know what.  The circumstances surrounding my cousin’s (V) death just keep getting stranger and stranger.  So, let me put it out there:

First, the Army cut a check to V’s widow (L) for half a million dollars on Monday.  The autopsy wasn’t even (allegedly) completed before Tuesday evening.  They are paying for the funeral, the hotel for L and aunt, tranportation from Washington to OH for L, from KY to OH for aunt/uncle, all food and other expenses for aunt and uncle, transportation of the body, and all other costs associated with the funeral/service.

When his widow was informed he had died, she became very ill, and was unable to stop vomiting and passed out.  They had to transport her to the ER.  She awoke the next day and Army officials had been caring for her baby, and they informed her that she would not be allowed to return to their house.  They gave her two changes of clothes for the baby, and she wasn’t permitted to retreive any of her own belongings, including clothes.  The casualty officers bought her two outfits, which is what she is still wearing (5 days later).  Plus one nice outfit each to be worn at the funeral services.  They informed the widow that once the funeral is over and she secures new lodging, they will box up and ship all of their belongings to her.  However, they told L not to expect V’s computer in that stuff, as they had confiscated it.  

They also confiscated both vehicles, V’s mustang and L’s truck/SUV.  My aunt and uncle had cosigned for the mustang, and apparently it is in uncle’s name, but the Army informed aunt that even if they paid it off they would not be allowed to take possession of it, and that they should let the bank repo it.  Aunt is refusing and said she WILL have that car, as it was V’s pride and joy.

Now, L has two casualty officers that have been with her non-stop since she awoke in the hospital on Sunday.  She also has her sister with her.  They were all staying at a local hotel with my aunt and uncle, but were not “permitted” to be alone with said aunt and uncle without the presence of the casualty officers.  Well, yesterday morning (Thanksgiving) L’s sister managed to sneak out and talk to my aunt privately.  When the casualty officers “caught” her, they insisted immediately that L and aunt were no longer permitted to stay at the same hotel, and they packed up L’s stuff and mover her and her sister to a new hotel which was not to be disclosed to aunt. 

Now, on to the actual body.

They will not permit my aunt or L to see the body.  They did not say that it was unidentifiable, or in pieces, or anything, only that it was not permitted.  The funeral will have to be closed casket, for undisclosed reasons.  Both aunt and L insist that they need to be certain that it is in fact V in that casket, and have asked that someone (anyone) be allowed to identify a tattoo or something on the body.  Denied.

When they flew the body in, it came into an airport a couple of hours from the funeral home and there was a local news crew there covering holiday travel and they wanted to film the body coming off the plane.  V has full honors, and there were soldiers there to do their thing at the airport, along with my aunt/uncle and my mom and L and her family.  Aunt and L gave permission for the casket to be filmed and put on the news, and apparently the Army casualty officers turned them away.  No filming was permitted, and no one has any idea what exactly was said to the news crew.

No one has said how V died exactly.  Only that “something” happened Saturday night during a “training” exercise.  It is in NO newspaper anywhere, which is really odd considering … holiday weekend, fallen soldier, etc. surely there would be SOME mention somewhere of his death.  

The Army also had to approve the obituary before it could be published, and even then when it came out in the local papers it had been altered completely.  I have no idea who was responsible for the changes, the newspapers or someone else.

I think that sums up the weirdness, but I’ll certainly update if I think of anything else or if any new developments turn up.  Tonight is the visiting hours, tomorrow is the funeral.

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